Game #67: Los Angeles Losses

Sixers play on the road against a VERY good Clippers squad, logic prevails in a 101 to 72 blowout LOSS.

clippers 76ers blake goes up

All is right with the world. If the Sixers can just manage to let this game shatter their fragile, 14-year-old-girl-who writes-for-the-high-school-lit-mag confidence, maybe this will spark a violent losing skid to the finish. We can dream can’t we?

high school lit mag

Before we get to the game, we’d be remiss to cover a major news item on the Sixers celebrity fan-dom beat:

After a lifetime of fan-hood, Luke Perry has renounced the Philadelphia 76ers

luke perry is a team player

luke perry dunk

 

In this sprawling 76 minute interview with profoundly annoying, NBA poet-laureate, Bill Simmons (and yes, it is impossible for me to be more jealous) the central Ohio born Perry shared these thoughts on his favorite basketball team.

“I loved the Sixers. I loved them for a long time… When Barkley left, it was hard… when they traded A.I., I figured they didn’t want to win anymore. So I quit following them.”

NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! Don’t leave us Dylan!!!! You’re the coolest guy in the whole school!!!

With the loss of Perry, the denuded Sixers celebrity fan roster is down to Bradley Cooper (when he has absolutely nothing better to do) and our polygamist marriage with LA Will Smith.

luke perry basketball donkey

And let me tell you something Will, Perry rides the Donkey…. Do you hear me! Perry RIDES the GOD DAMN DONKEY!!!

Luke perry rides the donkey

luke perry will smith stretchs

 

luke perry will smith jaleel white

And while we mourn the loss, it’s was sadly predictable.

Perry (now 64 years old) grew up during Wilt “the Stilt”s 76er heyday. Indeed, Perry has cited Chamberlain as the source material for the bountiful bedroom exploits of his tv persona Dylan McKay.

wilt the stilt

The obvious affinity between Perry ( the James Dean of his generation) and the tough, but sensitive, badboy exploits of Allen Iverson fueled the love into his adult years…

dylan-men-don-t-cry-dylan-mckay-22082998-400-300 ai crys

ai crys again

But now… Do you think Dylan McKay liked Andre Igoudala? Do you think Dylan McKay relates to Spencer Hawes? I think we know the answer to that question…

But I implore the Sixers management, and the entire global community of Sixers fans; let’s not quit on Perry, Damn it, he wouldn’t quit on us! let’s get him back!

ON TO THE GAME!

1) for all their woeful buffoonery this season, the Sixers amazingly have a winning record (20-17) when playing at home. Obviously that slim margin is blown out by their 6-24 road record. My theory, that the emotionally vulnerable and painfully shy Sixers feel much more at ease when no one is looking at them.

Sixers crowd 2

2) Hawes helps his trade stock as he continues his box score stuffing play 16pts/7rebs/7asts/4blks/2stls.

Philadelphia 76ers at Los Angeles Clippers

Good thing for him there’s no box score line for getting posterized by 33 year old wings with knee problems.

3) Hawes played well and the Sixers still got smoked? what happened? Holiday had his worst game of season 2 points, 4 assists, 4 turnovers. and the Sixers as a team shoot 36%.

4) More Clippers dunk antics. Evan Turner ignites the Clips fastbreak with an airball into Chris Paul’s lap (uh-oh), as Thaddeus Young upsets the floor balance by crashing in for the rebound that never was.

Blake Griffen/DeAndre Jordan open court madness ensues

jordan clippers hook shot

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