Games #59 and #60: The Panzer advance continues

The Sixers TANK ATTACK continues!

heat sixers on tank

With consecutive losses to Boston Celtics and Atlanta Hawks, the Sixers are threatening a blitzkrieg assault on the draft lottery, having loss 10 of their last 11 games, and overtaking the Toronto Raptors on the loserboard.

intentional or not, Tank Master Doug Collins is clearly the man for the job:

hienz guderianDoug Collins

The bedraggled and beaten Collins has finally stopped caring. He spends his days indulging his secret nazi memorabilia hobby, and his nights pretending to coach (arguably) the NBA’s worst roster.

 

It’s hard to believe but the Sixers were at the fringes of playoff contention just 3 short weeks ago, stalking the 8th seeded Bucks before a 4th quarter collapse sent them reeling into the break and launched this grueling 2nd half funereal march.

BOSTON CELTICS

Sixers lose 109-101. They somehow manage to tally over 100 points against the vaunted Boston defense, but somehow allow the inept Boston offense to score 109 behind an unexpected 22 points from defensive ace Avery Bradley.

boston bradley holiday

Little positive to report in this game, except that it appears the long imprisonment of Sixers rookie  Arnett Moultrie has finally come to an end!

moultrie contemplative

 

One of the principal gripes that Sixers fans have had with Coach Collins this year has been his refusal to play the athletic first round pick, despite the soul crushing play of the other Sixers big men.

Moultrie continues his dunk machine antics, going 5 for 5 from the fiend and netting 10 points in twenty minutes of action. Also grabbing 3 offensive rebounds.

Let’s show Arnett Moultrie doing Arnett Moultrie things. Gettin’ dunks.

Thank you for figuring this out Doug. By way of appreciation here is a limited edition Hienz Gunderian action figure. (it can be yours for just $89.99)

hienz guderian action figure

ATLANTA HAWKS

Sixers lose 107 to 96 as a another unlikely offensive hero emerges from the opposing team. Little used reserve Anthony Tolliver goes off for 21 points, outpacing his season average of 3 points per game by a good 700%.

atlanta jeff teague

For probably the first time in his life, here’s a 4 minute YouTube clip of Anthony Tolliver highlights…

Moultrie Watch: Arnett logs a career high 27 minutes, scores 8 points and grabs 6 (!) offensive rebounds.

This is what we know about him. He’s big, he can jump, and he knows how to get himself dunks by attacking the glass and diving hard on the pick and roll.

And that’s it.

Clueless on defense with noticeably bad posture, and a curious lack of defensive rebounding and blocks. He’s yet to show the alleged jumper that made him a first round prospect, but it’s good to see him nonetheless.

let’s delude ourselves for a few minutes by watching him work out….

I’m feeling it!

Heat lebron dunk

Tonight the Sixers duel the defending champion Heat and their 16 game winning streak.

The classic matchup of the unstoppable force versus the highly moveable object! On the plus side, at least we get to watch the Heat…

 

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