Game #36: What a difference a week makes…

nets game

That was unfortunate…

The GrowthPlates gang took in their second in person game of the season. How we could follow up the vomit-worthy 17 point drubbing by the Timberwolves on Dec 4th, you ask? How about a 20 point, 109 to 89  DEMOLITION by the Brooklyn Nets!

Well get into the Live Action lowlights in a moment. But first, please indulge me in a rare hate filled rant as I reflect on how historically disasterous nature of this last week.


Let’s rewind to New Years day. Those were innocent times, the revelrous denizens of Philadelphia partaking in our annual tradition of public drunkenness, sequins, feathers, and black face. Our 76ers had just walloped the hated Lakers, were hanging around .500 and providing some glimmers of hope that they might turn the corner

mummers Jrue Holiday, Pau Gasol, Dwight Howard

Since then, 4 consecutive losses and most tellingly, 3 consecutive, 20 point, blowouts. The kind of repeated humiliation that rarely happen in the NBA.

When was the last time this happened to the Sixers?

perhaps during rocky 3-13 start of the Collins tenure? NOPE

Perhaps during the inquistionary torture of the Eddie Jordan Sixers? NOPE

Perhaps the 16-66 Johnny Davis campaign that bungled it’s way to the #1 pick? NOPE

Answer is March 12th to 16th 1995(!) As the 24 and 58 John Lucas Sixers got gang banged by the Cavs, Rockets and Spus. (Amazingly, Dana Barros scored 50 points in the 29 point loss to the Rockets. Here is the absurd box score)

Advanced basketball statistics tell us that blowout are more telling of a teams quality than simple wins and losses. The type of week the Sixers have just submitted is only possible from a very bad to historically bad basketball team.

The only other team in recent seasons to accomplish this triple blowout feat was the 2012 Charlotte Bobcats, on there way to a 7 win season, and claiming the title of the worst team in the history of the NBA.

bobcats 2012

At least the Bobcats had the excuse of being talentless. Thier best player was brie-loving/ennui-laden Frenchman Boris Diaw.

diaw fat

This Sixers squad has talent, they just been buried in a deluvian flood of apathy. A collection of shiftless, heartless floaters, without the self respect to respond to repeated public humiliation…

hawes fuck you

Tellingly, the fickle taskmaster, Doug Collins isn’t even making adjustments. No benchings, no gimmick line-ups, no exhortations from the sidelines. Collins assembled this team under the hubristic delusion that he could coach heart. In the process he poisoned his own well, and he now knows there is nothing he can do about it.

collins sad


On to the Game!

The GrowthPlates gang weren’t the only international celebrities in the house, as we sat DIRECTLY ACROSS from film superstar Mark Wahlberg.

Marky Mark Sixers

Also an overzelous Sixers intern removed the portrait of Maalik Wayns right after he was cut for monetary reasons, not replacing it after he was immediately re-signed on a 10 day contract…

maalik Wayns missing

Sixers play even through the first half, trailing 47-48 at the break. Jrue holiday submitted an amazing 1st quarter, where his 12 points and 6 assists accounted for all 24 of Philly’s points.

But the 3rd was calamitous, as a lightening quick 18 to 2 run but the game out of reach and left the fans in attendance with 20 full minutes of summer league basketball.

The Nets run was an embarrassment of pick and roll baskets, poor rotations, and Reggie Evans rebounds. As the former Philly fan-favorite singlehandedly outrebounded the ENTIRE SIXERS TEAM through 3 quarters. Displaying the kind of tenacity and heart this team sorely lacks.

All told Reggie Rebound pulls down a CAREER HIGH 23 rebounds. 

Evans igoudalaDetroit Pistons v Philadelphia 76ers, Game 4

How good a rebounder is Reggie Evans?

Unfortunately that’s your highlight, as this quickly becomes The Lost Season…


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