Game #32: Gettin’ Jiggy with it!


kobe lower merion "THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL- AIR" Pictured:  Actor WILL SMITH as Will.

Do any two individuals capture the weird, incestuous, emotional hothouse that is the Philly/LA rivalry, better than these two native(ish) sons? (EDITOR’S NOTE: an admittedly one-sided rivalry)

Both departed these frank and unglamorous shores to find unimaginable success and fortune in dream land Los AngelesBoth became global icons, dominant forces in thier professions, and California to the core.

One becomes a scientologist, the other an accused date rapist (you can buy the commemorative mug here, and… I already have)

kobe mug shot will smith tom cruise 2


Yet in the City of Brotherly Love one is embraced and the other reviled…

Two-timing Will Smith can be a part owner of the Sixers and sit courtside at the Lakers and how we adore him! On the other hand, Kobe Bryant can’t touch a basketball in Philadelphia without being sprayed by a firehose of vitriol.

Will smith lakers will smith sixers

But maybe it’s not so complicated… they guy we hate is the guy we would have hated even if he never left town (or was even from town in the first place). He is the antithesis of Philadelphia. He’s the kind of polished, false, condescending prick that sets this frank and blue collar town on fire.

It’s not what he’s done, it’s who he is that we despise.

kobe white hijab kobe white suit


Kobe white suit collage


and that is why hating him feels so good… (cut to the 3:53 mark)


I said earlier in the year that each win against the Celtics feels like 2, and I will now say that each win against the Lakers feels like 5! And beating the Raptors feels like 1/3.

So while the Sixers have actually won 15 games it feels like we’ve won 20.67!

will smith dj jazzy jeff

Sixers get fresh with the geriatric Lakers in a 103-99 WIN behind an electric 26 point, 10 assist performance from Jrue “Smiles” Holiday…


NBA: Philadelphia 76ers at Los Angeles Lakers

1) Did i mention Jrue Holiday? In a  sterling performance that illustrates both Holiday’s brilliance and the Lakers defensive putridness in equal measure. He strolls to 26, including the game sealing jam…

here’s what Holiday had to say about the dagger dunk ( cut to the 1:22 mark) “I was hype, bro… yeah, I was up in there…” hm… I feel like that’s not the first time he’s said that.

2) Sixers frontcourt outscores the Lakers frontcourt. WHAT?!?! Lavoy Allen and Thad Young outscore Dwight Howard and Pau Gasol 22 to 18, and yes, that’s for the entire game. Great defensive effort from the Sixers (I guess…) but in reality the Lakers just look like a bad back, creaky knee all star infirmary.

NBA: Philadelphia 76ers at Los Angeles Lakers

3) Sharing equals caring… in a continued positive development, Sixers register 27 assists on 41 baskets, as thier offense slowly and quietly looks less horrible. Lakers register just 17 on 37 despite having arguably the greatest passer in the History of Basketball

4) Steve Nash’s buzz words brought to you by the letter C... Here is he postgame “It’s confounding… there is so little commonality… just struggling to find that little bit of connectivity…”

5) Kobe Bryant, scorer: straight nasty scoring 36, including this vintage throwdown.


1) Kobe Bryant, team player: 29 shots, 10 free attempts, ZERO ASSISTS.  wha wha…

kobe alone

2) Free throw shooting again! Sixers continue to wound themselves at the line going 13 for 20. Including a late double choke by Evan Turner that kept the game in doubt, and an uncharacteristic 0 for 2 from Jason Richardson.


Los Angeles Lakers, SuperTeam

“We are old as shit… we are an old, damn team….” Sayeth Kobe Bryant


In what could be the most star studded debacle in the history of team sports, the greatest basketball team ever assembled (on paper) is now 15 and 16, barely better than the struggling and undermanned Sixers, and in danger of NOT EVEN MAKING THE PLAYOFFS…

Happy New Year.

Philadelphia 76ers v Los Angeles Lakers


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