Game #18: The Icemen Cometh

The GrowthPlates Gang took in our first in-person Sixers game last night!

Ummm…. Maybe we choose the wrong night, as the flesh was flayed from our collective bodies with a (much worse than the final score) 105-88 LOSS to the Minnesota Timberwolves.

flaying of st. bartholemoew

Let’s just say it was an INTIMATE evening with our favorite basketball team, and quiet enough for any fan in the arena to share his personal opinions on the game with the player of his choice. Which they did.

This how the arena looked at the start of the First quarter,

Sixers crowd 2

There is really only one plausible explanation for what happened last night.  One of the Timberwolves clearly Roof-ied the entire Sixers team before tip-off.

But Who?

Prime Suspects: Moscow RaveBoys, Alexy Shaved and Andrei Kirilenko.

Kirilenko- Shced

 “Come on Sexy baby, we PARTY! Do you like dancing, yeah? We go to party with DANCING, I have a car… we go now, yeah? All good people, promise! Have a drink, Sexy baby! Have a drink!”

kirilenko moody Kirilenko playboy

This young and impressionable Sixers team was no match for the garrulous advances of the Cossack Playboys, and a dazed, bamboozeld Sixers defense was the result.

We are going to do a more thorough breakdown of the Sixers defensive woes tomorrow. Suffice to say Luke Ridnour looked like Chris Paul, Alexy Shaved looked like Reggie Miller, and Josh Howard looked like 2006 Josh Howard.

Combined with a clunker shooting night and the resulting despair, this one got out of hand quick.

Here’s a spaced-out Evan Turner dancing around a hallucinatory jump-shooting Maypole, that is, in fact, Josh Howard.

Turner on Howard


2 male acrobats in flesh colored bodysuits, (who may, or may not be twins, lovers, or both) slowly executing 2-man formations to a techno re-mix of Kate Bush’s “December Will Be Magic Again”.

Ice men

icemen 2

This generated crescendo of uncomfortable sexual tension in the arena in spite of (or perhaps,because of) the fact their were only about 12 people in the arena to witness this spectacle. VERY INTIMATE.

I, for one, LOVED IT

More earnest Basketball analysis tomorrow, This game really required some time to digest.

Jrue sad cutie



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