Game #3: Revenge of the Turds


So bringing new meaning to the philosophy of “Turning the other cheek”, the Sixers followed up yesterday’s ass thrashing by the Knicks by offering up the other half of their ass for yet more thrashing.

No use in going through the stat sheet, as garbage time started in the third quarter tonight. Suffice to say, the Sixers did very bad, and the Knicks did very good.

Demonstrating their continued commitment to physically and emotionally fragile centers, Kwame Brown returned from his preseason calf strain to play 11 minutes, and leave with (get this) a calf strain.

The Sixers plan to commission the construction of a 7-foot crystal golem to fill the open roster spot.


Holiday pounds the ball up top for 7 seconds, waving frantically at Evan Turner to get out of the way. Evan Turner  stands rooted at the free throw line, waving back with equal franticality for the ball. After waving at each other for another 5 seconds, Jrue finally breaks the stalemate and tosses Evan the ball in his weird “I’m sort of trying to post up, but not really” spot.

Then this happens…

Steal, JR Smith dunk, building empties, and… Doug Collins decides to smell his finger… Not that I blame him. If I had been sitting on the Sixers bench, I also would have smelled Doug Collins finger…

Let’s Go to the press conference, What does Collins think?

On staying even keel:

“Guys, Im not going to overreact to two losses to the Knicks, this isn’t going to be the dow market stock exchange where we look at the board each night and panic. we got 79 more games, If we are going to do that you guys might as well put me on an IV drip right now and get it over with”

On starting Kwame Brown:

“If I didn’t start him, he probably wouldn’t have played”

On the construction of the 7-foot Golem Center:

“Look building crystal golems takes time, If we just stay focused,  learn to trust each other, and imbue our basketball creation with the indelible spark of life, we are going to be just fine.”

So it sounds like Doug is definitely not worried. And if he is worried apparently we should put him on some sort of IV drip that is filled with an anti-worrying liquid.


6 thoughts on “Game #3: Revenge of the Turds

  1. I was pleased that I did not see this game for a myriad of reasons. Then I saw the Eagles game and really don’t think that was any better. WWE Raw would have been the best choice. At least their 7 foot golems can move a little bit.

    • Apparently Juan Castillo was the only thing keeping this defense together. This team is probAbly going to be bad for a while. But on the bright side, bad news for the eagles is good news for the bottom line here at growthplates…

  2. I have a feeling all of the Eagles fans who made the trip out to New Orleans last night would have much rather been sadly filing out of the Wells Fargo Center with eight minutes left. Hold on, that can’t be true. No, wait… it is. Nevermind.

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